DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Recap: What More Do I Need?

With one week to go until the annual big November Sweeps stunt, this episode was largely about setting up plot lines. All of the housewives seem to be heading towards a crossroads. In other words, it’s about to hit the fan.

Lynette accuses Tom of having an affair, only to find out that Porter is actually the one sleeping with Anne (who happens to be Porter’s best friend’s mom). Tom and Lynette don’t seem to know how to handle this (not that I can blame them). They end up forbidding Porter from seeing her and Lynette even goes so far as to threaten to kick him out if he continues to do so. In one of the episode’s best scene’s Lynette physically attacks Anne in the bathroom at a PTA meeting. Felicity Huffman did a great job here; Lynette’s anger was completely believable. Towards the end of the episode, we find out that Anne is pregnant (presumably with Porter’s baby) and she and Porter are planning to flee town. My question through all of this is, exactly how old is Porter? He seems like he’s way to young to be having sex, let alone with a married woman. There’s a line in the episode that suggests he’s about to leave for college, but I can’t believe he was 13 before the five year jump. Speaking of the five-year jump, I have some major issues with that below.

Susan and Jackson are back together again and are taking things slow. Susan sets a clear no sex until the fourth date rule, which Jackson tries to break after the first two dates. By the third date, Susan is ready to give in, but this time it’s Jackson who says no. It turns out that this forced celibacy gave him inspiration to start painting again. Susan discovers that the picture he’s painting is actually of her with a cold look on her face. In what has to be one of the corniest exchanges I’ve seen on prime time TV this season, Susan talks about how she ‘recognizes that look’. It’s nice to see Susan and Jackson back together again though; I genuinely like them together. He seems to be the best possible thing for her, at least for right now.

Gabby and Carlos are dealing with a lonely woman who has basically hired them to be her family. Virginia even goes so far as to insist the girls call her grandma (after only three days) and even crawls into bed with Gabby and Carlos! Obviously, this woman is at least a little mentally deranged or has no idea what’s socially acceptable. Gabby pretty much tells her that, in a verbal confrontation between the two, when Virginia shows up unannounced to Celia’s birthday party. Virginia, of course, uses her influence at the country club to get Carlos into trouble. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of her.

Bree and Orson weren’t part of the main storyline tonight, but they had an amusing side plot. After catching an employee stealing, Orson fires him. The same night, Bree and Orson have sex in the kitchen where they have a security tape set up. The employee steals the security tape and sees that two people are having sex on it. Andrew, Bree, and Orson assume that it’s Bree and Orson, so Bree gives Andrew carte- blanche to get it back. Andrew does and to everyone’s surprise it’s not Bree and Orson having sex but rather Mike and Katherine. This leads to Bree warning Katherine that this will hurt Susan, whether she’s over Mike or not. Bree also had one of the funniest lines of the episode. When talking about the rating her cookbook received in a Christian newspaper she said it got “four halos”.

Karen and Roberta are getting closer to finding out more about Dave. They go through his phone records to discover that he’s been calling g a psychiatrist that specializes in the criminally insane. There’s not much to say here, other then that I absolutely love Lily Tomlin in this part. She’s hilarious as Karen’s wannabe Veronica Mars sister.

So, now to my main issue with Desperate Housewives this season: is it just me or is this way more then five years into the future? It was Celia’s fourth birthday; Gabby wasn’t even pregnant with Juanita in last year’s finale. The Scavo twins are apparently about to ship off to college; I wouldn’t have thought they were more then ten last season. Now, Porter’s about to have a baby. So is this just poor story editing or is the jump more then five years? I personally think we’re actually more like six or seven years in the future.

Tell me what you think below!

— posted by Tricia

Tricia is your Desperate Housewives girl this year. She’s from upstate New York and is currently a freshman in college. She’s also a hardcore TV fan; check out her homemade TV schedule: http://www.flickr.com/photos/27093551@N08/2782207387/