KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST: Kathy Judges a Kiddie Pageant, Tells the Ugly Ones They’re Not Cutting the Mustard

June 23, 2010 by  

Oh, alright, fine, Kathy didn’t say any such thing straight to the faces of the fuglies in the kiddie pageant that she guest judged on Tuesday (June 22) night’s episode of KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST.

But she did suggest that her mother, a fellow panelist, do so.

Of course, Maggie Griffin, being a class act, didn’t utter the mustard commentary to anyone’s face either.

But we heard it. And that’s really all that matters.

K. Griffin killed it once again in the “Toddlers and Remodelers” episode of her series.

The highlights, in my opinion?

When she likened her appearances on entertainment newsmagazine THE INSIDER to the work of CNN’s Christiane Amanpour.

When she likened the “faux finish” on her “tired” fireplace to her face.

When she likened the big pile of dust, old boards and broken glass — created during her home’s remodel — to her vagina after a long weekend.

And then, of course, there were her antics at the aforementioned baby and toddler pageant… or, as she described it, “where they take the little kids like JonBenet Ramsey and they put the crazy whore makeup on ’em.”

Kathy experienced — and orchestrated — so many glorious moments at said event, choosing just one is far too difficult.

What did you really appreciate most? The three-year-old stripper who dropped half her swimwear in a more seductive manner than most 30-year-olds are capable of? The 40-something moms making damn fools of themselves as they wildly gesticulated and gestured in the audience, mimicking the movements of their young children onstage? Or was it, once again, K.G. that did it for you: Stripping down to a diaper in order to spray tan properly, taking glitter advice from a toddler diva and showing those baby bitches how it’s really done with a strut that shamed the so-called “experts”?

Seriously, Kathy so earned that Miss — wait, what was it called? Miss Old?? Miss Over 45? — well, anyway, she totally earned the award they gave her.

Congratulations, K. Griff.

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2 Responses to “KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST: Kathy Judges a Kiddie Pageant, Tells the Ugly Ones They’re Not Cutting the Mustard”

  1. Tim G. on June 23rd, 2010 5:25 pm

    The best part was when the boys came out for their “division.” The look on K.G.’s face as she sat behind the table was PRICELESS.

    I also love the fact that the pageant organizers are clueless enough to not realize she’s only there to make fun of the wackos who participate.

  2. Kyle on June 23rd, 2010 7:02 pm

    I love this show–she is hilarious. In addition to the stuff you mentioned, I also laughed out loud when she did the wave to Mom and fake crying during her pageant show.

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