CHICAGO P.D.: Rick Eid and Jesse Lee Soffer on the Upstead Near-Miss

[Warning: This post contains spoilers for the Wednesday, January 8 episode of CHICAGO P.D.]

CHICAGO P.D.’s Halstead (Jesse Lee Soffer) spent the episode fighting for his life after being shot in the fall finale, but he doesn’t know he came thisclose to hearing other life-changing news.

In the aftermath of the shooting, a distraught Upton (Tracy Spiridakos) was counseled by Intelligence newbie Rojas (Lisseth Chavez) who spelled out the reason for her agony: Upton loves Halstead.

With Halstead recovering, Upton went to see her partner, and appeared to be on the verge of telling him just that, before a phone call from the son of Marcus West’s son changed her mind.

“When something horrible happens to somebody you know, you tend to tell yourself, ‘I’m not going to withhold certain statements and feelings I have for people,’” executive producer Rick Eid explains. “You want them to know how you feel. And I think just as that’s about to happen, she sees the part of Jay that’s always been an impediment in her mind—that need to fix, that need to save, that need to help so much it almost hurts. I think she sees where Jay is psychologically and emotionally and she just kind of shuts down.”

Halstead, however, may not have picked up on how monumental the moment almost was. “I’m not sure Jay quite [realizes it]—it’s almost like you need to hit him over the head with it,” Soffer says with a laugh. “I don’t know if he really receives [what she was attempting].”

Soffer admits Halstead may have his own conflicted feelings about the matter. “I think he definitely cares deeply for her,” he says. “Does he know what that kind of caring is? I don’t know. I think he would absolutely admit, ‘Oh, I love her. Absolutely.’ What kind of love is it? I don’t know if he knows that. I don’t know if he’s thought about exploring that.”

Where the duo goes from here is complicated, with Upton, seemingly, retreating a bit back into herself. But there is hope. “I don’t think she shut down, shut down,” Eid says. “I think whatever they feel for each other is real and honest. It may ebb and flow, but it’s definitely not shut down.”