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Jenna Fischer’s “Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women”

August 14, 2006 by  

Jenna Fischer, The OfficeI didn’t know if it was possible for me to love Jenna Fischer (Pam Beesly, The Office) more than I already do. But even Jenna has surpassed Jenna with her “Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women” column in this month’s Esquire magazine. This is classic!!!

UPDATE: Some of the guys from THE OFFICE, did a reading of Jenna’s Esquire piece. Click below watch The Boys of The Office reading ‘Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women’
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On to Jenna’s list….

1. If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble.

2. When you tell us about a business lunch you had with a woman, it’s a good idea to tell us that she’s fat, ugly, old, or a lesbian. Preferably all of them.

3. PMS is real. It’s chemical, and it sucks. If someone told you that every thirty days you were going to get jacked repeatedly in the nuts, you’d be pissy around day twenty-six, too.

4. When we say, “I don’t feel connected,” the only appropriate response is, “I feel it, too. Let’s go out for a nice dinner and reconnect.” Try it. You will get laid.

5. If you can locate the following items in our home—tape, casserole dish, Christmas ornaments—you will get laid.

6. If you act excited about the bath mat we bought at Target, you will get laid.

7. We really want to have kids. That is, until you want to have kids. Then: “Hey, slow down. What about my career? It’s my body. I’m not just a depository for your sperm, you know. Fuck off. Wait, come back. I’m sorry about that. It’s sweet you want to have kids. Let’s talk about it in a year.”

8. You know what’s really gay? Football. Instead of watching it, just have sex with another dude once a year. Get it all out of your system at once.

9. We can make a “celebrity safe list” if you want. But I am way more likely to get Patrick Dempsey to fuck me in a bathroom than you are to get Lindsay Lohan to suck you off in your car.

10. Okay, wait. Maybe not Lindsay Lohan. But you know what I mean.

Thanks to frenchmoodle at The Office LJ community for finding this and sharing if with your fellow Dunder Mifflinites.


17 Responses to “Jenna Fischer’s “Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women””

  1. kelli on August 14th, 2006 8:03 pm

    haha those are hilarious. i love jenna fischer so much!

  2. Julie on August 14th, 2006 8:21 pm

    Jenna is just great. She seems like a really cool, down to earth lady, who’s creative, talented, and fun. Plus, these insights will REALLY help me in my relationship. 😉

  3. cara on August 14th, 2006 9:25 pm

    haha that list is ace!

  4. mg714 on August 15th, 2006 12:41 am

    Jenna is the best! Love that article.

    Have you all checked out Jenna’s new blog? She posted a link to NBC’s new promo for JAM – it’s great and brought a tear to my eye! I cannot wait for Sept. 21! Here’s the link:

  5. Sus on August 15th, 2006 7:29 am

    I disagree with number 7 but other than that…hysterical! 🙂

  6. GMMR on August 15th, 2006 7:31 am
  7. Sarah on August 15th, 2006 9:09 am

    I love Jenna Fischer! I think what I love most about this list is the fact that she shops at Target. I’m constantly amazed at how down-to-earth and adorable she is.

  8. Nascarmom on August 15th, 2006 10:40 am

    That was great – I didn’t know Jenna was so funny! Must be hanging around with too many comedians.

  9. TheNextKristin on August 15th, 2006 11:33 am

    That was absolutely hilarious! I agree, GMMR, Jenna outdid even herself on this one.

  10. mg714 on August 15th, 2006 3:29 pm

    Oops.. sorry GMMR, I missed that one last Thursday! It’s a great one though and I’ve watched it a ton of times too! 🙂

  11. Denise (ddker) on August 17th, 2006 7:55 pm

    This list is awesome!! And most of it is so true…..which makes it even more hilarious.

  12. Captain America on August 31st, 2006 9:07 am

    I think Jenna is somewhat confused. Football is primarily heterosexual in nature. karl rove, on the other hand, is gay. Maybe rove and ken mehlman (also gay) should have sex once a year to get it out of their system.

  13. Give Me My Remote » Ten Things You Don’t Know…from the Cast/Crew of “The Office” (WATCH) on September 30th, 2006 7:46 am

    […] A few months ago, I shared a funny column entitled “Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women“.  It was written by Jenna Fischer of The Office.  Well, the list is back, but with a little bit of a twist.  How about the list read by the cast and the crew of The Office?!  Not sure how this came about, I just got a link via email, but it seems that someone recorded this video with their cell phone camera.  Check it out. Funny stuff. View This Video on You Tube […]

  14. I heart Jenna Fischer at Monkeypup! on October 12th, 2006 11:22 am

    […] Jenna Fischer, who plays cute-as-a-button Pam on the Office, has written a list of “Ten things you don’t know about women.“ […]

  15. john on November 24th, 2009 5:24 am

    Hey Jenna I know ur probably married but u are one of the hottest girls I have ever seen on tv

  16. fook jf on March 8th, 2011 9:03 pm

    What a cunt. I saw her wide face and irish white trash teeth on the internet but this slammed it.

  17. shiva on October 9th, 2011 5:10 am

    Football is not gay. This is just feminist propaganda to portray anything masculine as gay. Jenna Fischer is just a mindless drone who conforms to popular opinion… which happens to be anti-male at the moment.