Prison Break Recap: “The Killing Box”

Title: “The Killing Box”
Original Airdate: 11/28/2006
Felt weird to watch the “Fall Finale” of “Prison Break” right in front of my Christmas tree, but I’ll take Michael Scofield and company any way I can get ‘em. Even if in front of a fake pine tree.

So, after the intentional car crash, Mahone has Lincoln and Michael on their knees and tells them to turn around; apparently he wants to kill them on the spot.

“If you’re gonna murder us, Alex, you’re gonna have to look us in the eyes while you do it,” Michael tells him.

And Mahone can’t do that. He tells them he just wants is own life back, and Michael asks him if he’s willing to murder two innocent people to do it. He obviously fails to see the irony in his own question; let’s not forget that Michael has been willing to let literally dozens of innocent people be murdered and otherwise wronged in his quest to give his brother back his life. Mahone, God bless ‘em, lets this fact slide. And then border patrol shows up and makes all of the men, including Mahone, surrender. His chance to kill the brothers has been lost. Border patrol takes everyone into custody.

Sucre is in his plane, headed toward the Mexican border. Suddenly, his plane is being pursued by another – the pilot says border patrol, but I could have sworn I heard the other guy identify himself as DEA, so who knows? – and Sucre and his pilot prepare to jump. “Pull the cord and pray,” his pilot tells Sucre, before he assures him that he certainly WILL land – it’s just a matter of how hard he’ll land. Sucre takes a big swig of liquor (atta boy) and jumps into the middle of the desert. We find out later he landed safely and he literally walks into the sunset. I hope that’s not the last time we see him.

Sara sees news of Lincoln and Michael’s capture on TV and looks devastated. Later, she calls and leaves a message on his confiscated cell phone as a despondent Michael looks on from the cell in which he and his brother are being held. She tells him she needs to know he’s OK, and he’s the only one she can trust. “I need you,” she quickly pleads. I sniffle a little.

T-Bag is watching news of the capture in a bar in Kansas. He pretends to be a Gulf War vet and asks a fellow vet where he can get one of them there artificial hands, because money is no object. This last part doesn’t sit well with the real vet, who is probably not swimming in stolen millions, and he insults T-Bag – aka Mr. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell with the “Nancy” dye job – who is then compelled to steal the vet’s artificial limb. For some reason, this is more disturbing to me than the fact that T-Bag murders people. He stole a guy’s hand, for God’s sake. Yuck. Maybe he murdered him, too.

There’s a new warden at Fox River (oh, how we miss ye, thy naïve and friendly Warden Pope), and he promises death for Lincoln and life in prison for Michael upon the convicts’ return. Sure. Does he not watch the show? Does he not yet realize that they’re not even coming BACK to Fox River? It’s only November, and we have half a season left, at least. Our boys will be free birds for a while yet. But the new warden looks menacing as he says it, so let’s let him believe it for a while. Anyhoo, the plan is for the brothers to be transported back to Fox River by local authorities, not by the feds. This is putting a kink in Mahone’s plan to eventually kill Lincoln and Michael while in transit, so he tries to talk his way past a prison employee so he can “ride” in the van with the guys, but no go. Mr. Kim, the President’s lackey, tells Mahone to shoot Linc and Michael right there then. You can see Mahone considering it, even though they’re in a heavily-guarded police station. He really wants this Mr. Kim off his back.

Meanwhile, T-Bag and his new (stolen) hand follow an unlucky lady through the streets of Kansas. He seems, inexplicably, obsessed with her shoes. He follows her into a diner, where he seduces her (gag) with a story about how Italians drink wine with lunch, whereas Americans wolf down their midday meal with a quick Coke. This obviously-needy (and perhaps mentally-disturbed) woman agrees to have wine and lunch with T-Bag. I’m hoping she’s an alcoholic and just really needs a wine fix or something, because I just can’t see any woman falling for T-Bag and being wooed by him, even if she didn’t know his criminal history.

Bellick is being held for Roy’s murder and is denied bail. For reasons I don’t really understand, he eventually pretty much cops to the crime (was it easier to go with the flow than to fight it? Was the evidence against him overwhelming, even if it was wrong?). He wants to go to prison in Illinois, where he can be close to his mother. I actually start to feel for the guy, and no one is more surprised than I am. He’s a little teary. Poor guy. Stay tuned.

Kellerman calls Mr. Kim and tells him he has an “associate” on the inside of the Illinois Department of Corrections that can help them get to Linc and Michael during transport. Kim looks skeptical, but it’s obvious that he’s looking for a way to save his own ass in all of this (after all, Linc and Michael should be dead, according to his needs), so he’s intrigued.

I guess the wine must have worked, because T-Bag is basking in afterglow with Denise in the wake of their afternoon delight (I hate it when I have to write something like that about T-Bag). He tells her that the only side of her he’s “interested in is the inside.” I laugh so hard when he says it that Dr. Pepper literally comes out my nose. It sounds like a line a college kid uses in a bar, but Denise falls for it, and they plan to meet later. Nothing good can come of this. For anyone.
The convict caravan is on its way to meet the transfer cops who will take the brothers back to Fox River. Kim tells Mahone that he should kill Kellerman during the “scuffle” that will inevitably ensure during the transfer. I think I hate Kellerman, Mahone and Kim equally at this point, and I hope they all kill each other. Really. It will be like that final scene from “True Romance,” but this won’t be as dramatic. I just want them all dead. Mr. Kim keeps telling everyone to kill everyone else, Kellerman wants to be the one to kill everyone else, and Mahone hid a body under the birdbath in his back yard. I won’t shed a tear for any of them.

Linc and Michael are in the prison van, which has stopped due to a semi truck “broken down” and blocking the tunnel they’re in (it’s not really broken down – it appears that everyone is in on this little plan to get the brothers to try to escape so they can be justly shot down). Michael realizes that the shackles holding him and Lincoln are not locked. And that there are even keys on the seat when the driver gets out to see what the hold-up is ahead. Michael smells a trap. Again, he’s the smart one. He’s cute, too, but he’s also really smart, and nothing slips past him. I’m glad he’s a good guy.

T-Bag, true to his word (and what murdering pedophile is not true to his word?), meets Denise after she gets done with work. Turns out she works…at the Post Office (insert own cheap, lame joke here). Hence, the focus on her Post Office-issued sneakers. This is why T-Bag pretended to be interested in her, anyway: he doesn’t have a foot fetish, he just wants the new address of his ex-girlfriend, the one who turned him in after she saw him on “America’s Most Wanted,” and what better way to get this address than from the Post Office? Denise gives him the address, believing T-Bag is trying to find a cousin in regards to an inheritance. Just as she’s talking to him, she spots behind his head A WANTED POSTER WITH T-BAG’S PICTURE RIGHT THERE IN FULL COLOR. She puts it all together, poor thing, and last time we see her, we only see her feet sticking out from under a desk. Looks like T-Bag got to her, too. He immediately tracks down his ex-girlfriend, who opens her front door expecting to greet a delivery man. She looks nauseous when she sees T-Bag. I feel sick, too, when I hear T-Bag tell her, “Daddy’s home.” Yuck.

Oh, yeah – Bellick is back in Fox River. Turns out he asked to be housed in Illinois because he thought he’d get preferential treatment from his former co-workers, and maybe even be able to get out early. But the new warden is a hard-ass, and there are no special privileges for him. He’s put into gen. pop. with the criminals he once used to taunt. And if that’s not enough karmic payback, guess who his cellmate is? Avocado. You remember – the one who used to brutalize Tweener. Life is grand.

Sara, on her own, is in front of a mirror in a public restroom, and in her hand is a razor blade. What’s her plan? To kill herself? To cut a line of coke? Nope – she gives herself a haircut (a rather crude one, as you might imagine, given that this is no spa). Seems that with Michael headed back to life behind bars, she’s going to have to become a fugitive on her own, and she needs a disguise. At least she’s not going with the overused hat thing that the other fugitives have worn into the ground thus far.

Lincoln and Michael discuss their options for escape from the van and decide to make a run for it. They make it into a door within the tunnel, with Mahone in pursuit. Kellerman is at the other end of the tunnel, supposedly waiting for them, so no matter which way they go, a man with a gun will be there to greet them. Kellerman and Mahone close in on the brothers, guns drawn, ready to shoot Lincoln and Michael…and then KELLERMAN SHOOTS MAHONE! I SO did not see that coming. Kellerman tells Linc and Michael that the President ruined their lives AND his, and if they want to bring her down, they need his help. So they follow him. I KNEW Kellerman was not ALL bad. I mean, I know he’s bad, but in a kind of good way. At least the brothers are free!

Michelle is the frazzled mother of two very young kids. In lieu of taking a shower every day, she writes TV recaps for GMMR to keep the remaining shred of her sanity intact. This also helps her justify her insanely intense TV-watching habit, which was spawned in her early childhood because she was allowed to watch an unlimited number of”Sesame Street” episodes when she herself was a preschooler.