Best Quotes from The O.C.
February 22, 2007 by Kath Skerry
I would pay big money for a book that included all the best O.C. quotes. Each episode was filled with hysterical chit chat that had me laughing out loud. I’m not even going to pretend that I scratched the surface with the quotes below, but I figured maybe you could share a few of your favorite quotes and we can remember the witty banter and hip one liners together.
“We’re having a very Britney Christmas, Mother.”
– Kaitlin, describing her family by using 2006’s favorite shorthand for white trash.
“I love shopping, tanning and celebrity gossip. Always have, always will.”
– Summer, getting to the heart of the true Summer.
“Men to me are what chardonnay is to you. One sip and I’m upside down on a chandelier.”
– Julie, explaining to Kirsten why she’s swearing off men. And reminding Kirsten that she’s a boozehound.
“Few grunts. The occasional shrug.”
– Sandy, predicting how much chatter the Cohens will get out of Ryan at dinner.
“You’re taking all that? You only own, like, a wifebeater and two hoodies.”
– Seth, expressing surprise that Ryan has packed such a full bag for an overnight trip.
“Wow! Well, aren’t you a regular Veronica Mars? Way to solve this week’s mystery!”
– Marissa, criticizing Summer’s nosiness while referencing a wildly popular teen show.
“So what? I kinda like her, you know? I don’t care that she married my grandpa for money or had sex with Luke. I think she’s got moxie.”
– Seth, dismissing Summer’s concerns about Julie so he can get back to making out.
“The Siegfrieds donated a pool and a field house last year and their son only smoked pot. Our daughter shot someone. We have to at least give them a hundred grand.”
– Julie, responding to Jimmy’s offer to give Harbor two, maybe three thousand dollars.
“Ryan and Marissa – separate? Both great people that I love. But together? Disaster.”
– Summer, trying to convince Seth not to play matchmaker.
“Look, I experimented when I was your age, albeit it involved a little Motley Crue and a lot of Jaeger.”
– Julie, trying to tell Marissa her lesbianism is just a phase.
“Alex and Marissa? No longer welcome in the Red States.”
– Seth, informing Ryan that their exes are now dating each other.
“It’s a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy finds out girl is surrogate mom’s illegitimate step-mother.”
– Seth, trying to help Ryan with his relationship quandary.
“If my sense of the cultural Zeitgeist is accurate – and I believe it is – this is the year Chrismukkah sweeps the nation.”
– Seth, preparing Ryan and Kirsten for the onslaught of Chrismukkah.
“Well! Guess who’ll be staying in tonight? Carson Daly and a ball dropping! There’s two images that should never be said in the same sentence.”
– Seth, mocking Ryan’s inability to speak about love.
“Chino? Eww.”
– Summer, confirming her suspected anti-Chino bias.
…and of course, the quote that started it all
“Welcome to the O.C., bitch. This is how it’s done in Orange County.”
– Luke, after pummeling Ryan on the beach.
…got more to add? I’d love it!!
Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds.
Seth: Well, sometimes I do.
Seth: In fact, having you around to defend me, I’ve gotten kind of soft. Without anybody picking on me, there’s been no need for the Seth Cohen retaliatory zinger.
Hey, Seth, did you know that Ryan did musicals?
Seth: Wow. That’s extremely minty of you. I didn’t even know they had musicals in Chino. Or dancing….or laughter.
Sandy: Just because you’re leaving, doesn’t mean I’m letting you go. (Sandy, to Ryan)
Seth: “I was like a fish flopping around on dry land; I was Nemo, and I just wanted to go home”.
(Describing his first time with Summer).
Summer: “Cohen kneed me in the hip”.
Marissa: “Why’d he do that?”
Summer: “I don’t know, he must have read it in the Kamasutra”.
(Describing their second attempt)
(Summer, Marissa, Seth, and Ryan are trapped in the mall; Summer slips on a hockey mask)
Summer: “You know what that means?”
Ryan: “You’re going to kill us all with a chainsaw?”
Anna: “You don’t know how strange it is to find another person who likes comic books, and sailing, AND Death Cab”.
Sandy: “Death Cab’s a band right?”
Julie: “I thought I’d make some bagels, if the Cohen’s can do it so can we”.
Lance: “I thought I’d drop by and give you something.”
Julie: “Last time you gave me something, I was drinking cranberry juice for a week.”
(Julie trying to fend off her past life)
Sandy: “I can only think of two reasons; either she’s run out of money, or she’s run out of money”.
Seth: “3 letter word for hilarious; Dad”.
(While doing a crossword; Sandy describes Kirsten’s sister Haley’s reasons for coming to Newport)
I know there’s much more, but that’s all I got for now.
Julie: Well, I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
Jimmy: Jules, come on, you’re still beautiful. And we both know you were never nice.
Seth: What about the Ryan and Seth go to Europe money, my man? Get back in there- we could get Vespas!
Seth: He enjoys sunset walks, punching people and not smiling.
Ryan: You realize we’re both screwed.
Seth: Dude, I’m wearing a wife beater.
Seth: So when you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic the Gathering.
Ryan: You still play Magic.
Seth: Yeah, but not as much.
Ryan: I didn’t tell her anything. I think the black turtle neck in August tipped her off.
Seth: Okay, I was going for stealth, and also it’s slimming.
Ryan: I’m just gonna sit here and brood, silently.
Seth: Hey Dad, did you hear? Ryan’s funny now.
Summer: I was being sarcastic.
Marissa: So was I.
Summer: Which we never were before Cohen showed up and introduced us to irony. Jackass.
…and we’re just scratching the surface!
“I had sex with a girl!”-Seth
“How was is it?”-Ryan
“I had sex with a girl!”-Seth
“That bad?”-Ryan
“Ryan’s funny.”-Taylor
“She said Ryan’s funny!”-Sandy snickers after Taylor leaves
“I love you.”-Marissa
“Uh, thank you?”- Ryan
“I always knw you were a late bloomer.”-Kirsten about Seth when he had the Anna/Summer Triangle
Seth:”What’s the GPRA?”
ryan:”I have no idea what you just said.”
Seth:”Game plan. Ryan Atwood.”
Ryan:”You’re only using initials now?”
Seth:”Yea, it saves time.”
Ryan:”Not if you have to translate.”
Seth:”GP”
Ryan:”Gameplan?”
Seth:”Good point.”
seth: summer, you’ll kiss all these other guys but you wont kiss me ? acknoledge me now or lose me forever.
brad: you’re dating this emo geek?
seth: yes brad she’s dating this emo geek. yeah that’s right im a big dork and i listen to emo, and im dating her.
summer: why are you doing this?
seth: because summer, i like you, this much. and if you dont feel the same way about me then someones gonna have to give me a hand down cause it’s really high up here and i could fall and that could be embarassing. more embarassing.
summer: i can’t believe this.
seth: its all over with a big public makeout session.
((Seth)): Ryan, I was Nemo and I just wanted to go home.
((Zach)): Even when you’re not being a couple you’ll always be a couple. You’re like Joanie and Chachi, Luke and Leia.
((Seth)): Um, Luke and Leia were brother and sister.
((Zach)): Yeah well, may the force be with you.
((Sandy)): Since the minute you were born, I knew I would never take another easy breath without knowing that you were all right.
((Seth)): So I’m like asthma?
((Julie)): notices suitcases Where are you going?
((Marissa)): I’m moving out. You have my cell if Caleb kicks
and you need help counting your cash.
((Kirsten)): Doesn’t Seth look rad?
((Sandy)): Seth does look rad. Mad props, son.
((Seth)): It’s pronounced Tee-ah-HUANA. God, Mom, you are so white.
((Summer)): I’m busy. Studying. Naked.
((Seth)) outside her door: And that’s supposed to keep me away?
Summer runs to the door and opens it.
((Summer)): You’re at my house!
((Seth)): And you’re dressed.
I don’t know which one of us is more disappointed.
((Summer)): Who get’s passed by a van full of nuns?
Oh, that’s right. Cohen does!
((Seth)): Well they have God on their side, Summer.
I’m not gonna beat Jesus.
I hope you like these!!
((Kirstan)):They seemed so happy together.
((Seth)):By happy you mean…gay
-The Cohan family after they found out Carson(Lukes dad)was gay.
((Ryan)):Do u know what i like about rich kids ((Ryan punches Luke)) Nothin’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
((Seth)): You know what i like about rich kids bam nothin’. That was awsome.
kerstin:
‘seth, go, we need to talk to ryan.’
seth:
‘okay, but if this is about the carpet, ryan had nothing to do with it.’
kerstin:
‘what about the carpet?’
seth:
‘nevermind.. o.o’ *seth walks into the kitchen*
kerstin:
‘now we need to talk about that secret trip to tiawana’
seth:
‘mom, its purnonced tijuana! tijuana! god mom your so white!’
luke:
‘this is gonna be a tough year..’
marissa:
‘yeah, well im still the girl who tried to kill herself in mexico.’
ryan:
‘im still the kid from chino’
seth:
‘yeah, well im still the kid from.. yeah well im still seth cohen’
*i love seth cohen! <33
Caleb:
‘You’re still smoking the weed aren’t you?’
Kiersten:
‘Dad!’
Seth:
‘Dad, you smoked weed?’
Kiersten:
‘Out, now, private converstion.’
Seth:
‘RYAN GUESS WHO’S A STONER.’
Seth: Come on, I’m sweeping you off your feet.
Summer: Sad part is, you kind of are.
Ryan (imitating summer sometime during seasosn 3): coooheeen, i can’t believe you did that cooohen
not funny because of whats said, funny because its SO NOT RYAN!
seth: (doorbell) the way things have been going lately i bet that’ll be oliver.
sandy (about the ‘funny’ kid, i forget his name: seth, that kid is not funny
seth: yeah he makes ryan look funny.
sandy: i love your mother with every bit of my soul – but not funny.
so many more! i wish someone would make a book of these things!
{{Marissa}} Who are you?
{{Ryan}} Whoever you want me to be.
Just theres moments in everyones life, and if you let them slip away, they are gone forever.
( Taylor telling ryan,)
Summer: so now since ann dumped you, you think the now ill want you
Seth: why does everyone think she dumped me. And no summer we broke up because for me its always been you.
Seth: I wish it was a mermaid whom swim with all the fish, a shiny tail and sea shell’s that would be my wish
Summer: you remember that was like 3rd grade Cohen
Seth: yeah and no of those guys out their even care all thy keep doing is looking at your boobs
Summer: what guy was staring at my boobs
Seth: summer (summer kisses seth)
Seth: (to kristen) love smuv
Summer: Pancakes had babies
Taylor: yeah’ you didn’t know she was pregnant?
Summer: no I’m a bad crack mother
Woah go sethummer forever
Seth: “My stomach is far too Jewish for that ride.”
Seth: [Journey’s “Seperate Ways” plays on car radio] Come on, man. Her flight leaves soon.
Ryan Atwood: I’m doing 75 in a 65, all right?
Seth: [mimicking Ryan] “I’m doing 75 in a – ” Everyone knows 80 is the new 75.
Ryan Atwood: What? Who talks like that?
Seth: What is up with this a.c? My Jewfro is frizzing out. I look like Screech.
Ryan Atwood: The a.c’s fine.
Seth: What is this music?
Ryan Atwood: Do not insult Journey. All right?
Summer: I had a boyfriend, he sailed away.
Summer on her current relationship status
(more so for the way she says it.)
Seth: If you’re alone, cough twice
Ryan: I’m alone.
Sandy: I’m surprised you hung in there with all that foreplay.
Seth: Fore what now
(Seth and Sandy have the birds and bees talk)
Seth (to Ryan): Do you want to play grand theft auto? You can steal cars. Not that thats cool. Or uncool. I don’t know.
Summer: It’s like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.
(Summer on Death cab for cutie)
Summer: way yo g, wonder whore.
(while dressed up as wonderwomen for Seth)
Seth: there was someone else in the room, like filming us?
(after Summer admits Seth was’nt the only virgin in the room)
Kirstin: Doesn’t Seth look rad?
Sandy: Seth does lokk rad. Mad props son.