30 ROCK: Christmas Special

Merry almost Christmas, everybody! And what a fraught one it is, at least for Jack, who’s forced to take in his mother (recurring guest star Elaine Stritch) after he runs her over with his car on his way to Rio for some nude sunbathing and monkey wrestling. I’ll try to overlook the awkward machinations this storyline required—and the fact that, during Liz’s visit, Colleen was looking pretty flexible for a hip replacement victim—because I am all about the giving. And trying.

Jack’s desperate attempt to turn a spur-of-the-moment TGS Christmas special into the kind of holiday he never had reveals that his off-color childhood memories of Colleen are actually concealing the good ones: namely, that by entertaining Mr. Frederick August Otto Schwarz III via “some boozy burlesque travesty” every year, this penniless Mrs. Claus was able to provide presents for her children. I do love that they keep bringing Stritch back, because her scenes with Alec Baldwin are always a delight, even if they hit the same notes every time. But that’s what family is, right? Infuriating, intractable, and consistent. And the Christmas special not only gave Jenna a chance to over-contribute, musically, but also led into a sweet dream duet between Jack and his mother at the piano.

Meanwhile, Liz’s holiday plans are also torpedoed by family when her parents skip off to a “Sexy at 70” retreat in Arizona and leave her to fend for herself. Determined to stuff that Christmas hole with the spirit of giving, she volunteers for the post office’s Letters to Santa program and gets a little help from Tracy, Grizz, Dotcom, and Kenneth, who is nothing if not a latter-day version of Rudolph’s little toymaking companion Herbie. Naturally her best efforts lead to another display of inadvertent racial profiling and misdirected white guilt, as she manages to once again insult every black person she comes into contact with (turning “Irene” into “Trené,” for example, and assuming she’s being scammed when she delivers the gifts and sees no evidence of children), before informing two wide-eyed youngsters that there is, in fact, no Santa Claus. Oops: spoiler alert! Ho ho ho!

A FEW FAVORITE THINGS

• Lucky (and mute) writer Sue’s new charity support bra and Jenna’s NKOTB shout-out.

• Tracy’s reluctant gifting: “That kid is never gonna be a doctor. Better buy it a jet ski.”

• Liz on the phone to Jack, who’s in Florida: “Where are you? I hear sunshine.”

• Of course Elaine Stritch would be out exercising in her standard costume of tights, tunic, scarf, and hat while singing “Be-doobie doobie.” And kudos to whoever that body double was for taking a solid hit by Jack’s car.

• Jack on Colleen: “They’re giving her a titanium hip, like the Terminator. It’s only gonna make her more powerful.”

• Kenneth: “Those are gonna be the happiest poor kids since my brother and I went to Neverland Ranch.”

• Tracy: “What’s the past tense for scammed? Is it scrumped? Liz Lemon, I think you just got scrumped.”

• Jack to Liz on his buddy, the postmaster general: “We had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I want to lick a hippie, I’ll just return Joan Baez’s phone calls.”

• Colleen furiously ringing her little bell to let Jack know she needs her other bell, and later telling him, “I’m sweating like a grape picker.”

• Tina Fey’s husband (and 30 ROCK composer) Jeff Richmond playing Jenna’s accompanist, Alfonso.

And that’s it for 2008, folks. I hope this one made your season merry – happy holidays to all!

— posted by Kari

Kari is a 30 ROCK fanatic and will be taking it out on you, her new imaginary friends.