MODERN FAMILY: ‘Slow Down Your Neighbors’

Is it just me, or are shows always better after a long break?  This week’s MODERN FAMILY was no exception.  There were squatters, and speeders, and sports (oh my!) so let’s get to it!

Cam and Mitchell have a new neighbor, Barry, who is into holistic medicine.  They catch him in their hot tub and almost call the police, but when they realize how attractive he is, they decide the only polite thing to do is to join him.  And boy, James Marsden is attractive, isn’t he!  Why doesn’t he join the cast?  I wouldn’t mind seeing him on my TV every week!  Later, Cameron finds out he’s been living in Lily’s princess castle and makes him leave.  But Barry doesn’t go down without a fight!  You would think a guy who makes a living (though a clearly meager one) as a massage therapist — excuse me, Reiki healer — wouldn’t mind being touched, but the way he was wailing, it was as if Cameron was ripping his arm off.  Of course Mitchell had to throw in a little “I was right!” as he went to call the cops.

Claire’s problem-of-the-week involves a crazy driver speeding through their neighborhood.  When the megaphone doesn’t work, she resorts to “Slow Down Your Neighbors” signs, but that doesn’t work either.  What she doesn’t know is that the driver is actually a client of Phil’s and he’s trying to sell her house, which will earn him the distinction of top salesman of the quarter.  And no one remembers second best.  That’s why everyone remembers Michael Jordan and no one remembers Scottie Pippin, according to Phil at least.  Phil does everything he can to keep the women apart, but they meet at the open house where Claire thinks she’s joining the fight against the speedy driver.  Claire gets angry when she realizes what’s up, but Phil orders a dozen Mylar balloons from the florist to ease the tension.  Yes, Phil, that’s exactly what every woman wants after a fight – Mylar balloons!

Jay finds out that two thirds of his family does not know how to ride a bike so he takes it upon himself to teach them.  Manny is a natural, but Gloria needs a little more help.  Did anyone else think of a drunk Jim Halpert when Gloria fell into the bushes?  Luke decides he’s going to teach her how to ride by spraying her with a water gun.  After she tells him that one of her biggest fears is that someone is going to snatch her off her bike, he says they need to shoot out all of her fears and hoses her down with a Super Soaker.  Just as Gloria’s getting the hang of it, Claire steals her bike to go after the speeder.  That got the biggest laugh of the evening from me.  Gloria’s screeching screams and Claire riding off as fast as she can had me howling!

I thought this was a very funny episode, especially after the holiday deprivation.  Each family had some laugh-out-loud moments, and that’s what makes this show great – they share the comedy wealth.  And I’m glad we got to see Lily!  I mentioned that as one of Cameron’s New Year’s Resolutions so I’m glad she came out of hiding for this ep.

What were some of your favorite lines or moments, MODERN FAMILY fans?  Comment away!