WAREHOUSE 13 Recap: ‘Love Sick’

What do you get when you cross WC Field’s Juggling Balls, Marilyn Monroe’s hairbrush and some good old fashioned emotional denial between partners? Pete and a (mysteriously) blond Myka, naked in bed together. As Pete might say, “Say what?” And as anyone who has seen much of WAREHOUSE 13 might say…exactly.

The third offering of season three is just as quirky and deliciously creepy as the other episodes we’ve had so far. And for the first time this summer, the ‘warehouse’ is its own character, so to speak, and we got to see a lot of little artifacts as one offs. But how *exactly* did Pete and Myka end up naked together? And why in Artie’s bed? Before you can say “that’s hot!” or “um, ew!” I should also mention that meanwhile, Claudia and Artie were investigating a horrifyingly diabolical computer virus that causes its victims’ DNA to shift to hard clay substances and diatomaceous earth.

Oh yeah…and Jinksy got bronzed.

Just a day in the life of a warehouse agent! But seriously, the great thing about WH13 is that while events like these can be surprising, I’m not sure we’re ever really surprised anymore by what they throw at us. I mean that in a good way, of course; not that the ideas are tired, but that the writers have opened up the scope of imagination so wide that we all just shrug and say, “Oh yes, of course that’s how it works.” Of course there is a special ink that can be applied to windows for the sole purpose of being able to move objects through the glass, etc. I love it. I love the creativity of the writers and artifact-thinker uppers. That would be a great job! Did you have a favorite artifact in this episode? Rosalyn Franklin’s DNA machine? Nixon’s shoes? Artie’s possible Spanx? Okay, okay…not an artifact, but still…

Pete and Myka spend the episode in the warehouse desperately trying to FIND Steve Jinks at first, and once they DO find him in the bronzer machine, they have to retrace their steps to figure out how he got in there (hint: them), and how he’s going to get out (another hint: them again, with some of Artie’s DNA). As they progress forward in their task, they remember more and more about what happened the night before. Yet as the memories come back, the big question — why exactly were they naked together, and did anything happen between them — remains elusive.

Artie and Claudia are working the case after Artie gets the call from the lovely Dr. Vanessa Calder. She’s examining the victims’ bodies and Artie does the code breaking to determine that the DNA has been changed to clay. They bring in Hugo Miller (a former agent) to develop the antivirus, and he and Vanessa obviously have a romantic history. Artie is bummed, because he planned to make a bit of a move on Vanessa. Their conversation about taking their enjoyable walk up a notch (a jog?) was hilarious, and it’s sweet to see Vanessa gush a little about Artie.

When Claudia and Artie search through the most recent victim’s apartment and computer, they discover she was a recent shopper at TigerDirect.com and that its local store. Claudia does a search on the finances of all of the victims, and sure enough — they all frequented that technological establishment. The episode shoots to the store and Tyler, a young employee, is getting fired for using the technical support tools to spy on customers in their bedrooms. Claudia and Artie arrive later and realize Tyler must have the artifact. Just then, Tyler’s face appears on the store TV monitors, and he manages to transmit the computer virus via the screens to his former co-workers and the customers in the store — and to Hugo. Hugo is not deterred, he only needs to move faster in figuring out an antidote for the virus. Time is ticking when Vanessa diagnoses that those affected with the virus have only six hours to live. Claudia leaves to track down Tyler and the artifact.

As she convinces Tyler to hand over the necklace he was wearing (given to him by his uncle to ward off evil spirits), Artie is contending with angry store customers and a virus-infected Vanessa as well. Hugo’s eyes are affected by his DNA changing, and Artie must write down his computer coding while Hugo recites it from memory. Meanwhile, Pete and Myka have retraced all of their steps and realize that in their genius, they knew what the effects of handling the Juggling Balls would be. To counteract the feeling of drunkenness and loss of memory, they stripped off their clothes, knowing they would both insist on figuring out what happened, therefore allowing them to find Steve in the bronzer machine. Ah yes, I think that’s what ALL partners say when they wake up naked together. Right, right…

Either way, their plan was successful, and likewise, Hugo’s antivirus works in the computer store and each affected victim there is zapped back to health. Artie and Claudia watch Hugo and Vanessa seemingly have a moment and are both surprised when Vanessa makes it clear to Artie that she prefers him over Hugo.

Did it seem strange to you that Claudia and Artie were in the field and Pete and Myka were in the warehouse the entire episode? Are you a fan of Artie with Vanessa? Is the reappearance of Ashley Williams’ FBI-baddie surprising to you, or is she a sufficient villain for season three? Discuss!