RINGER Recap: ‘Maybe We Can Get a Dog Instead?’

Well, RINGER proved me wrong — last week, I predicted Bridget would actually be pregnant. But guess what? It turns out she’s not.

I, for one, am glad RINGER did not to go this route. Let’s be honest, does this show really need any more complications?

When the doctors can’t find a baby on the ultrasound, Bridget says she had some light bleeding the week before but thought it was normal. The doctors conclude she had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby.

I thought Andrew would be mad that Bridget didn’t tell him about the bleeding, but I forgot one very important thing: Andrew’s the best husband ever. So instead of being mad, he’s comforting and tells Bridget she has nothing to be sorry about because it’s not her fault.

Sigh. Again, Siobhan, what is your problem with this guy?

Andrew and Bridget go back to their enormous apartment, where Juliet is actually doing something nice by making Bridget tea. But then she has to spoil it by asking, “Does it hurt?” and “What does it feel like?” Geez, way to unintentionally rub it in, Juliet.

As Andrew lets Bridget rest, she gets a call from Malcolm. Malcolm needs to see her, so she takes off in the middle of the night for what seems like the millionth but is actually probably the second time.

Bridget arrives at Malcolm’s hotel, where their reunion is not exactly as emotional as I hoped it would be, but I guess they have their minds on other things — like, you know, drugs, babies and fake identities.

Malcolm tells Bridget about Macawi abducting him and says he led Macawi to believe Bridget’s in Seattle. He adds that he made sure no one followed him to NYC. (Anyone else not believe no one followed him there?)

Bridget, of course, is really sorry about what Malcolm’s been through and says, “I’m only worried about you.” This made me laugh because it’s definitely not true, otherwise there wouldn’t be a show, but I’ll let it slide because it made me smile.

Malcolm insists they leave NYC right away, but Bridget says she can’t because everyone would find out she’s Bridget — and then she’d have to deal with being the suspect in Gemma’s disappearance.

Malcolm’s understandably angry that Bridget could be so dumb (my words, not his). She gives him some money before she leaves, and he gives her a six-month sobriety chip, so, he says, she doesn’t forget who she is. Ah, love.

We then flashback seven months ago to Bridget’s first NA meeting in (where else?) Rock Springs, WY. Do the writers really have to keep telling us this? Same goes with Paris. WE GET IT.

I’ll describe the whole flashback here: Bridget (Did anyone else think Sarah Michelle Gellar looked hilarious with her druggie makeup and hair?) attends her first NA meeting, where Malcolm introduces himself and asks her what her “poison” is. His is heroin, and hers is crushing and snorting. Such a great meet. And the flashback ends.

The next day, Andrew’s being his usual adorable self and tells Bridget he took the day off so they could be together. So cute! But Bridget crushes his soul by saying she has a doctor’s appointment and wants to go alone.

Over at Juliet’s school, Jason Dohring is looking really good in a sweater vest. Ok, so more than that happened, but does it really matter? Fine, I will tell you. Juliet answers a question in class, and Ke$ha-wannabe Tessa makes fun of her.

After class, Juliet asks Mr. C. if he can do something about Tessa, so he says he’ll take care of it. Juliet starts to tell him about her problems, and he recommends she talk to the school counselor instead of him. But because he’s so pretty (my words, not hers), she says she’d rather talk to him, and then she asks him out to a movie screening of OF MICE AND MEN. I couldn’t believe she’s actually heard of this novel, but then I decided she probably just thinks it’s a movie. Mr. C. declines the invitation, and she leaves the classroom mad and hurt. RINGER producers: Please, please, PLEASE do not start a teacher-student relationship. I have faith that you can find another way to keep Jason on our TV screens.

Since Andrew was turned away by Bridget, he goes to work and tells Olivia about Siobhan’s miscarriage. She seems genuinely sorry for him (I still hate her) and asks if he and Siobhan will try again. Andrew says, “That’s a very good question.” Yes, it is, but they probably won’t since they never touch each other, and that’s pretty important when it comes to getting knocked up.

Instead of going to the doctor, Bridget meets up with Charlie, who tells her he didn’t find anything in Gemma’s car aside from a few hairs. This is where things get a little interesting: Bridget zones out (for a flashback, of course), and we miss the rest of what Charlie tells her. Is it important? We don’t know.

Bridget tells Charlie that her old sponsor, Malcolm, is in town. She says Malcolm complicates things, but she assures Charlie that she’s not “dumping” him as her sponsor. Speaking of Malcolm, he uses the money Bridget gave him for drugs, complicating Bridget’s life even more.

After Bridget leaves her meeting with Charlie, he calls Siobhan in Paris (once again, WE GET IT) and tells her Malcolm’s in the city. She’s not happy about it and says, “Just make sure he doesn’t mess things up.” Charlie says he’s going to handle Malcolm in his own way, adding that the Gemma situation got out of hand in a way he didn’t sign up for. Charlie, I love you for getting rid of Gemma, but please don’t hurt Malcolm because I actually like him!

In Paris, Tyler comes out of the shower in a purely McSteamy-inspired moment. Let’s pause to reflect on this…Okay, you’re welcome. Anyway, Tyler wants “Cora” to come to Rome with him, but she says she wants to stay in Paris a little longer. As Tyler continues to get ready, Siobhan pulls out a drawer in the nightstand to reveal a picture of Henry. So she does really care about him, I guess. These people have a strange way of showing love on this show.

As Tyler is in some fancy car on his way to Rome, he gets a call from Andrew. Andrew tells Tyler that his boss, who is the head of the European division of Andrew’s company, no longer works with Martin & Charles. Remember those financial documents Siobhan took from Tyler’s briefcase a few weeks ago? Well, Tyler’s boss got the blame and the boot for it. So Tyler gets a big promotion and flies to NYC to meet with Andrew.

Meanwhile, Bridget is sitting in some fancy reading room in her apartment when Henry comes in (I guess he has a key?) and tells Bridget he knows about the baby. He says she must be relieved since the miscarriage ties up everything in a nice little bow for her (his words, not mine). He adds that even though he thought she would change her mind about their relationship once the baby was born, he guesses he should be grateful for the closure. Do I feel that sympathetic for Henry? Not really.

At Malcolm’s hotel, the police knock on his door, and even though Malcolm tries to keep them out, they bust in and arrest him. Oh, Malcolm: You have a killer after you, so the next time someone knocks on your door, at least look through the peephole before opening it.

Malcolm is taken to the precinct, where Victor questions him about the drugs and Bridget. Another piece of advice, Malcolm: When you don’t want someone to find you, don’t pay for a hotel room with your credit card.

Victor wants Malcolm to tell him what Macawi did, but Malcolm won’t, saying a druggie’s word wouldn’t hold up in court against Macawi’s. Finally thinking ahead — way to go, Malcolm! Malcolm does tell Victor that Bridget moved in with Siobhan, but she’s left and no one can find her. Victor obviously doesn’t believe this, so he lets Malcolm go in order to follow him and find Bridget.

As for Bridget, Victor finds her in the lobby of her apartment building as she’s leaving to meet Malcolm for coffee. She tells Victor she’s meeting with Malcolm, and Victor asks her to wear a wire as investigators watch her across the street. Bridget says no but quickly changes her mind when Victor threatens to tell Andrew about Henry. I was under the impression that blackmail was against the law…

Bridget meets with Malcolm and introduces herself as Siobhan, which understandably confuses Malcolm. Luckily, he plays along with it, and when Bridget accidentally spills coffee on herself and goes to the bathroom to clean up, she’s able to slip a note inside the menu telling Malcolm what’s going on. I have no idea how she did this, but I’m guessing she paid the waiter off.

Malcolm tells “Siobhan” he came to NYC to find Bridget, and he hoped she could help him. They get away with their conversation, and Bridget even gets a little bit of an upper hand when she lets Victor have it for allowing her to meet up with a druggie (Remember, there are no obvious druggies within Siobhan’s circle of friends).

After leaving Victor, Bridget catches up with Malcolm to talk about what happened. And again, Victor proves to be the dumbest cop ever by not following Malcolm or Bridget after the meeting. Anyway, Bridget is mad at Malcolm for using again, even though he initially denies it. He then admits that Macawi made him use and asks Bridget for more money. Bridget refuses to pay for his drugs but wants to help him. Malcolm doesn’t want her help and says he doesn’t know how she can help him when she doesn’t even know who she is anymore.

At Juliet’s school, Juliet confronts Mr. C. after she learns she’s been transferred out of his class. He says he did it because even though he likes her, he doesn’t like her that way. Hallelujah! She’s again not too happy, but she finds another way to get close to him by joining the Young Samaritans club. Dammit. I guess Juliet is used to getting everything she wants, so I don’t see her letting up anytime soon.

That night, Bridget decides to surprise Andrew at a business dinner he thought she didn’t want to go to. The other guests? Olivia and Tyler. Poor Tyler, thinking Bridget is “Cora,” doesn’t understand what’s going on. So he decides to do the professional thing and whispers to “Cora” DURING DINNER that he didn’t realize he was sleeping with the boss’s wife.

Tyler calls “Cora” (really Siobhan) after dinner and says it’s no wonder she didn’t want to go to Rome because she was going to NYC all along. I don’t know why Siobhan admits that she was in NYC, but she does — causing Tyler to tell her to find a new pimp hotel. Siobhan does not seem to be too thrilled upon hearing this, so I’m guessing her mysterious plan is not working out the way she hoped. Charlie may soon have another guy he needs to take care of.

As Bridget and Andrew leave dinner in their limo, they make up (without sex) after having a fight about their relationship earlier that day. Bridget says there will be no more games (sure) and she wants this marriage, baby or no baby. Andrew agrees, and they lovingly look at each other…and that’s it. My vote is on no baby.

They arrive home, where Malcolm is waiting for Bridget. Malcolm’s just stolen money for drugs, so he admits he needs help. Bridget introduces Andrew to Malcolm, and because Andrew’s the nicest person ever, he agrees to Bridget’s request that Malcolm stay for the night. Bridget tells Andrew that Malcolm was “one of the only good things in my sister’s life,” and we flashback to three months ago as Malcolm sits with Bridget as she calls Siobhan for the first time in a while.

As Andrew goes to bed, we finally get a good moment between Malcolm and Bridget when she tells him that no matter what happens or who she is, she’ll always be there for him. Even though RINGER has set up a romantic relationship between them, I think Malcolm and Bridget are done romantically. Too much has happened, and I do think Bridget’s changing and starting to fall in love with Andrew. I hope this moment represented some closure between Malcolm and Bridget (one that doesn’t involve a baby).

The next day, Bridget brings Malcolm to Charlie’s apartment and asks Charlie if he can help them. Of course, Charlie tells them to come in, which is definitely not good. It looks as though next week Bridget and Malcolm start to catch on to Charlie’s act, so I can’t wait to see where that goes.

Other notable things:

• The miscarriage explanation was almost a little too easy to get away with, in my opinion. I’m glad the storyline is gone (for now), but it almost seemed as though the writers realized they had too many plots to deal with, and this was the easiest one to get rid of. I know RINGER is a soap, but I’m not sure how much I can keep letting them get away with logistically.
• Is there a point to Henry anymore? I like Kristoffer Polaha, but I don’t feel sorry at all for Henry — yet the show’s making it seem as though I should. He’s not that nice of a person, and he was a pretty lousy husband (not to mention father, because his kids are never around). He may be the new Gemma, pointless and annoying, which makes me so sad.
• Bridget’s coffee spill at the restaurant was obviously staged, but I can actually let Victor get away for not realizing it. Why? Because I think he thought something was up, but when she didn’t take off her wire, why would he suspect anything else? Bridget’s menu trick was pretty crafty and unpredictable. Speaking of which…
• I’m guessing Bridget paid the waiter to put the note on the menu, but don’t you think the waiter would’ve read it? And don’t you think he would’ve been suspicious of it? Unless I missed something, this is one of those logic gaps I’m not sure I can take.
• Remember cellphone guy? What’s happened to him?

I’ve said this in my recaps before, but it is really bothering me that Bridget and Andrew have yet to have sex. No, I’m not some perv; I’m just thinking logistically. They are married and have had some really sweet moments that end awkwardly with a hug, a stare or hand holding. I’m tired of it. Sure, they’ve had problems and Bridget is still getting to know Andrew, but Andrew thinks Bridget is Siobhan, his wife, and he has yet to initiate anything. They had a good kiss last week, but it seems as though that was forgotten this week.

Last week, I compared RINGER to another new show that I’m loving, REVENGE. Seriously, watch it if you aren’t. Anyway, I think I’ve decided what I love about REVENGE that RINGER is missing: motive. The main character has a motive for her revenge, which makes us root for her. She also smartly planned (emphasis on “smart” and “plan”) out her revenge, so when things go wrong, we want to know how she will deal with it and want her to succeed.

RINGER doesn’t have this — we have no idea why Siobhan is doing what she’s doing, which makes her look crazy and evil. I don’t think she is, even though if she actually is, that could be interesting. Also, the RINGER characters make dumb decisions on the fly (Bridget setting herself up as a murderer, anyone?), so it’s difficult to root or have any sympathy for them. RINGER would benefit by having more Siobhan time instead of a few 30-second phone calls each episode. She’s like the Wizard of Oz, but we’re not getting the curtain pulled back.

What did you think of this week’s RINGER? Were you surprised that Bridget wasn’t pregnant?