30 ROCK Season Finale: Kidney Now!

Last night was not only the season finale of 30 ROCK, but it was also the last recap by the wonderful Kari.  Kari, thanks so much for reviewing this season of 30 ROCK.  We are all so grateful.  We’re going to miss your weekly reviews next season but we hope you’ll stop by and comment every once in a while.  Thanks again!

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It’s the end of the line, folks, both for Season 3 and me. And while I stand by my earlier assertion, stated somewhere, that a string of hilarious one-liners alone do not a solid episode make, I laughed enough during “Kidney Now!” to mostly overlook what fell flat. (Although the bloated musical ending fell pretty flat, compared not only to previous season finales but also the great “Midnight Train to Georgia” number that capped “Episode 210.” I mean, why not let Kenneth interact with cousin Clay Aiken, or at least punch him in the nose? But I do like how Tina Fey & crew took all those “too many special guest stars!” complaints from critics and fans and cranked up the dial to 1000 in response. That’s just the kind of thumb in your eye I appreciate as one of the complainers.)

First, though, kudos to Alan Alda for playing off his own “earnest, decent liberal” label so effortlessly. Watching him enjoy a simple game of catch with Alec Baldwin might have been the highlight for me, as well as the smile on Jack’s face at the end when he realizes that for some reason this guy Milton accepts and loves him for who he is, and not what he can give.

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30 ROCK: Natural Order

Oh how the worm turns, as we start the ball rolling toward the season finale with Jack realizing Jimmy Donaghy, that wily old con artist, isn’t his real father. Obviously this will upset the natural order of quite a few things: Jack Donaghy is who he is because of both mommy and daddy issues, and he’s got 35 years of hurt and resentment wrapped up in Jimmy’s abandonment of the family. He’s also been sitting on a pretty good kiss-off speech, which he delivers to his mother’s unsuspecting married boyfriend instead, with only the slightest of edits: “I am not afraid of you, you’re just a big bully, like Simon Cowell! That’s right—I just called you a Communist.”

The possibilities of this little thread are lined with comic gold, and not only did we get the return of Steve Buscemi’s weirdo PI—who rides his bike to a meeting with Jack and admits he’s wearing a child’s Halloween costume beneath his clothes—every line coming out of Elaine Stritch’s mouth was divine (“I’ll call the restaurant, see if they can seat a third wheel.”). They didn’t skimp on the heart this time, either, bringing a tear to even my jaded eye when Colleen consoles Jack and tells him, “You’re my good boy, and I just love you to death.”

The Liz/Tracy power play also had some nice twists (“Twist!”), starting with the detailed steps everyone’s taken to hide the actual time from Tracy, which have overlapped a bit: “I took my son to his cello recital this morning at what turned out to be midnight yesterday!” All of this naturally leading him to shout “Irregardless!” before handing his race card to Liz which, to Pete’s dismay, she accepts.

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30 ROCK: The Ones

Oh dears! I’m not sure what to say about an episode that seemed devoted mostly to showing us how flamboyantly Salma Hayek could remove a trench coat, even if one of those removals revealed a pointless yet fabulous BSG t-shirt.

This one lost me almost entirely, with Elisa’s Black Widow secret bringing out the boring in everybody and leaving Liz with little to do other than react while snuggling up with her Slanket and Night Cheese. I was equally baffled by the weirdness of Jenna approaching Pete with her problem, although I enjoyed her heartfelt serenade of “Don’t Cry Out Loud” before self-identifying as a sociopath and then proving it by trying to kill Kenneth. I also liked Tracy helping Jack the only way he knows how: first through a test of erotic temptation in a flashy nightclub and finally by admitting his own terrible secret (that he’s never been unfaithful to his wife). And let’s give special props for the shirtless montage, where they slipped in a bizarre real-life Tracy Morgan appearance on Chicago’s WGN in which he improv-ed a pregnant woman giving birth on the news desk.

Overall the small touches saved it for me: the Pranksmen’s feathered caps; Liz searching for online stories on Elisa (“Ew, writing on green. Why?”); Brian Williams taking a misdirected call for Tracy, then inviting the caller up to Connecticut; Tracy’s Angie tattoo morphing quite naturally into Tangiers the gay lion.

Anyway, this is two negatives in a row for me in a disappointing season, but I’m still hoping we can ride it out in style over the next couple of weeks. What did you think?

A FEW FAVORITE THINGS

• Jewelry salesman on Liz: “She’s very spirited. Like a show horse.”

• Lutz running into that wall with his face. (Lutz seems to be this year’s Josh in the humiliation and pain department.)

• Tracy to Liz: “You are wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically manipulated shark.”

• Liz to Elisa: “How are you so quiet when your parades are so loud?”

Kari is a 30 ROCK fanatic and will be taking it out on you, her new imaginary friends.

30 ROCK: Jackie Jormp-Jomp

“I’m back, nerds!” And not a moment too soon. While I enjoy seeing all the, um, “colors” of Liz Lemon’s home life, I really do prefer it when they keep her locked up in the office with the usual bunch of bananas.

Of course she would fall in with a band of bored, privileged divorcees and end up drinking, shopping, and Botoxing her way through her two-week S-E-X probation (sweet montage, btw). And turning a group of seemingly harmless boozehounds into an Upper West Side fight club (“the pain proves we’re alive”) made perfect sense to those of us who actually inhabit the Upper West Side. But something about the pacing tends to feel off when Liz is interacting with an entirely different group of people, and this episode was the most laugh-free of the season for me. Right up till the end, that is, as she chastises Jenna and Tracy in a standard speech of exasperation, only with her patented anger replaced by a big ol’ grin that nicely offsets her big ol’ black eye, and knowing it’s the grin that terrifies them.

The Jack/Jenna pairing was a welcome twist, though, mostly because Alec Baldwin’s performance manages to both ground and heighten Jenna’s deeply ingrained lunacy, since Jack is just as crazy as she is but in a more straightforward, businesslike way. (My favorite bit was his wordless reaction to Dora the Explorer’s backpack bumping Jenna from the red carpet.) I also like that it’s the (true) revelation of her age that leads Jenna to sabotage the chances for her own increasingly horrible-sounding film, as well as the paparazzi mistaking her for Dina Lohan at the Kids’ Choice Awards. But not involving Liz in Jack’s Tupac-ing scheme made the whole storyline feel too trivial, although having his fix fail in a way that Liz’s likely wouldn’t have (debatable, I guess) is what leads to her triumphant return in the end.

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30 ROCK: Cutbacks

I don’t expect “Cutbacks” would hold up very well under scrutiny, but life is hard and I laughed like hell, so I won’t look any deeper than that. Also, did you know they sell Sabor de Soledad T-shirts at the NBC Store? You can stuff that little tip right in the ol’ Easter basket along with your “decorative air holders.”

Anyway, as Liz and the TGS crew celebrate their 50th episode, they receive unfortunate news from Jack: the Sheinhardt Wig Company is making cuts, and the entertainment division is going under the knife. Liz responds in true Lemon-like fashion, giving a full-on Steve Jobs presentation to the heavily browed hatchet man brought in to review her budget. Too bad three colorful graphics, some repetitious wordplay, and a TGS clip reel fail to deter said hatchet man (guest star Roger Bart), so she resorts to sexual bartering instead with the help of triple Spanx and the sluttier makeup artist. Only—surprise!—giving Brad “a little taste of the Lemon” has no effect whatsoever, perhaps because, as Jack points out, her top front is her worst quadrant (a revelation that seems to not faze her much, mostly because she’s so worried about getting back her food and straws). It does lead her to drive a widower to tears, however, and ultimately she wins by losing, which is the sort of lesson I’m sure none of us would mind learning. Or not learning, as is the likelier case where L.L. is concerned.

Meanwhile, Jack’s own cutback is poor Jonathan (!), who he fires and replaces by forcing Kenneth into doing double duty as both NBC page and personal assistant. (Jack’s required three D’s of service: “discretion, docility, and don’t use my bathroom.”) Kenneth is a little less up to the task than one might expect, although I guess it’s not surprising that lying and prioritizing emergencies are not his greatest skills. (Free Showtime! Spiders! The head spins.).

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30 ROCK: Apollo, Apollo

“Hello, Dummy.” And with those two little words, my heart leaps. Think it’s a coincidence that this is the first undeniable A+ episode of the season? No way. Dean Winters’ Beeper King is the one guest star we simply cannot get enough of, at least once a year. But it wasn’t only Dennis Duffy’s return that vaulted this episode into the stratosphere; it was Tracy’s spaceman dream tying into Jack’s lost childhood tying into Liz’s softcore phone line past tying into her forgiveness for Jenna’s betrayal and vice versa. Because there is beauty, and then there is 30 ROCK beauty, and my friends, this was 30 ROCK BEAUTIFUL.

Dennis has always been Liz’s Achilles’ heel, the one boyfriend—unloved, unwanted—who keeps showing up again and again, this time to atone for his Web MD self-diagnosed sex addiction: “Former Sex Partner, I’m sorry that my disease has made you a victim of my sexual charisma. I’m sorry that I’ve ruined you for other men.” Doubtful, but still, it’s too bad he’s making the same apology to Jenna via Liz, who answers Jenna’s phone while Jenna is flying high on a Peter Pan rig. And that he would be the one boyfriend of Liz’s that Jenna would choose to sleep with confirms everything we already know about the Beeper King and our favorite oblivious C-grade celebrité; i.e., boobs galore. At the same time, their hookup neatly confirms the order of Liz’s priorities: it’s not the fact that they had sex together that bothers Liz the most, it’s the fact that they had sex in her bed, which is where she sometimes eats.

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30 ROCK: The Bubble

Alas, Dr. Drew is no more. But Jon Hamm got a solidly sneaky send-off this week, as Liz discovers her beautiful boyfriend is actually too beautiful for his own good. And hers. Even a Disney prince and potential Calvin Klein underwear model can’t overcome the handicap that is a lifetime spent inside “the bubble” (which according to Jack enables one to “free drinks, kindness, and outdoor sex”), and so the poor man sucks at nearly everything—including tennis, cooking, sex, and apparently his job. (He was a pediatrician, right? Double nards!) And while she’s tempted—as, let’s face it, who wouldn’t be?—there’s simply no way on earth Liz Lemon is going to let a loser beat her in tennis, or strap her on the back of his motorcycle/scooter for an obviously fatal trip up north. So we say Go forth, Liz Lemon, and find someone as “moderately pleasant looking” as you are. We’ll all be safer and/or happier that way.

Also, the realization (and reality) that Jack Donaghy was once a bubble boy himself? Too good for words, but they should have gone ahead and shown that laminated picture he was carrying in his pocket, because it would’ve saved the rest of us a lot of time and effort. (For some reason, the Google returns on “Alec Baldwin + shirtless” include a lot of pictures of The Hoff. So you’ve been warned.)

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