TOP CHEF: Meat Natalie - Give Me My Remote : Give Me My Remote

TOP CHEF: Meat Natalie

October 29, 2009 by  

Hey everyone!  Did you love Top Chef?  Awww, that’s nice.  Actually, I’m just giving everyone a buffer paragraph here because I am about to start the recap off with spoilers and I want to give everyone a chance to bail.  That’s your warning.  You’ve been warned.  Onward!

Well, everyone will be happy to know that we are finally rid of Mike Isabella and his douchebag comments and attitude, but we are still stuck with Robin and the talking.  Seriously you guys, did you just feel awkward for the waiters when she was talking the entire time she was plating?  Because I totally did.  And then the talking at Judges’ Table—Tom just looked annoyed, which made me laugh.  Part of me wants to know if the judges are just effing with us by keeping Robin, but I really thought Mike deserved to go home.  It was obvious that no one was crazy about it, it wasn’t cooked well, and it didn’t have any protein.  Game over, and I also agreed with Gail that he was being WAY too cocky about it.

Since we’re discussing the bottom, let me just go ahead and rip off the band-aid that is Jennifer right now.  I wasn’t really worried for her, in that I knew her dish wasn’t bad, just unsubstantial.  But I AM worried that her mental game is so off right now that she’s having trouble bouncing back, and trust me—as a Colts fan, I have seen this happen over and over.  Thankfully, also as a Colts fan, I’ve seen a lot of fourth quarter comebacks, so I still have hope.  But she REALLY needs to shake it off.

As for the winners, how weird was it to see Eli both in the top three AND ahead of Bryan?  Crazy weird!  But this challenge was sort of like that.  It was weird, everyone was out of their element, and in general, no one seemed to do a super job.  I mean, obviously Kevin and Michael did a good job, but probably nothing to write home about.  At least that was my impression.

And speaking of Michael.  Ugh, do we have to?  Okay, we do.  Speaking of Michael, he is just such a terrible sport about EVERYTHING.  He was just such a jerk about Kevin’s dish, and how it looked like something he would’ve made in culinary school.  EYE ROLL.  Be gracious.  Admit that someone did better than you, and that maybe his food tasted better than yours, and that just because it wasn’t made with gadgets and didn’t consist of two bites doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.  And most importantly, get over yourself.  Seriously, I am so sick of this douchebag.  I never found Mike Isabella HALF as revolting as I find Michael Voltaggio.  No joke.

Anyway, since I’ve been going totally backwards on this recap, why stop now?  I’d like to finish off with something that DOESN’T make me vomit in my mouth, and that is Natalie Portman.  I love her—she’s my total girl crush (along with Elizabeth Banks), and I love that she’s smart and has her head on straight and doesn’t pull stupid shenanigans just to get attention.  And she was so funny and likeable in this episode.  I wish we’d known more about what kind of vegetarian she is, because I think it would’ve put the challenge in more context, but that’s not her fault.  My guess is that her diet is less restricted than Zooey Deschanel’s, who we saw on TC: Masters, but that’s pure speculation.

It really is coming down to the now with only six competitors left.  And who knows what will happen, because at this rate, Robin could be in your final four!  Horrifying thought, right?  Well, just wanted to give you one good scare before Halloween.  But she totally could be.  YIKES.

What did you guys think?  Did you agree with Mike being sent home over Robin, and do you think there was any merit to Michael’s criticism of Kevin’s dish?  Do any of you vegetarians out there think that this challenge did vegetarian cuisine justice?  Share your thoughts in the comments!

SB loves recapping for GMMR so much that she recently started her own blog at  She is not a foodie but loves yelling at her TV, and Top Chef gives her many, many reasons to do so.


10 Responses to “TOP CHEF: Meat Natalie”

  1. Patty on October 29th, 2009 2:55 pm

    Loved Natalie and I dislike both Mike’s so I was glad to see one go! Both Jennifer and Robin are getting on my nerves now so I don’t care if either leaves. I love Yukon Cornelius, I mean Kevin, so he just needs to be declared the winner now!

  2. strunkette on October 29th, 2009 2:55 pm

    Ha! Funny how you mention Zooey in this post and not our your own …totally of the same mind… also answered my question.

    Love: Natalie and Kevin

    Sick of Robin and not-on-top-of-her-game Jen

    Hate: Michael the DB

    Whoo hoo Mike Isabella is gone! *happy dance* 🙂

  3. SB on October 29th, 2009 3:10 pm

    Patty, I was just telling Kath that I think that Kevin winning is, at least at this point, THE ONLY satisfying conclusion this season can come to for me.

    Strunkette, we are on the same page on EVERYTHING here. And I know, I forgot to mention Zooey over on my blog–I usually do this one first, so it comes out all coherent and with all the important events, so that by the time I get to my own blog, I’m all drunk on rage-ahol and carrying on about cupcakes made of poo. I like to think that they complement each other. 🙂

  4. SB on October 29th, 2009 3:20 pm

    Also, Lisa, when you read this, sorry for being a bad internet friend and forgetting to comment back on your Hubert dining experience, but it sounded AWESOME and I read the whole thing out loud to Billy! Very cool, thanks for letting him know how much we all love him. 🙂

  5. Jacob on October 29th, 2009 5:43 pm

    It’s a little weird that, at this point, nobody’s pointed out that Kevin has won the most challenges, of both quickfires and eliminations, of any season. Credit’s been given in the past if someone won two in a row, or the most quickfires, but Kevin’s been raking them in this season. He’s gotta have double digit wins.

    I never saw Mike in the final four. While his attitude wasn’t an indicator (too many reality shows have the douche going into the finals), his cooking never brought it. He had (yes?) one win. No quickfires. And almost every time he was in the top four, it was usually because it was a team challenge (and then, he kept working with Michael somehow). He’s an ass, but he made things interesting at least.

    Robin makes things interesting, but you’re uncomfortable with it. She talks too damn much (I had hoped Tom would send her home for talking way too much game and having produced not a word of it), then thinks herself on par with everyone else because she’s still there. Here’s a hint; you’re not there because you’re good, you’re there because others (unfortunately) do worse then you.

    Not to bash Natalie, but did she go down in popularity? Because when you’re a celebrity guest starring in reality TV shows, you gotta question their marketability. Yeah, they’ve had others, but five-star chefs on a cooking show isn’t the same, and when the guest is known for having a sense of humor about themselves (ie. Neil Patrick Harris, Penn & Teller) it’s different. When was the last time Natalie Portman headlined anything that wasn’t a tabloid?

  6. Diana on October 29th, 2009 6:34 pm

    Natalie and her giggly group of friends totally changed the atmosphere of this episode. The “prick on my tongue…felt small, got bigger in my mouth….they usually do” sequence was hilarious. I like seeing the judges laugh and enjoy the meal.

    Does anyone remember Padma or Tom saying something about the “final 3” a couple weeks ago? This whole season I’ve been thinking (and reading) that it’s going to be Kevin, Jen and the V brothers in the final. But if there are only 3, that makes it much more interesting. Obviously if it happened today Jen wouldn’t make the cut. But if she rebounds before the finals, does Bryan lose out? I can’t imagine Kevin and Michael not making it.

    And I gotta come out and admit it….I know Michael V is a douche, but I can’t help but like him anyway. I roll my eyes at half the stuff he says, but I still find him (and his brother and their dysfunctional relationship) somehow adorable! What’s wrong with me?!? That being said, I’m still rooting for Kevin and I think it will be a major upset if he loses.

  7. Matt on October 29th, 2009 7:24 pm

    The VERY simple fact is that Kevin has made food that tasted good every week, The V brothers are style over substance. The judges omments, even when really positive, are always about concept and execution, rarely the taste of the food. Kevin is probably the best one yet, grounded and supremely talented.

    The V brothers are all fluff, but still in the the Top 4 with Jen. It will be interesting, but I see one of them bros outside looking in. Also, much of their relationship is blown out of proportion simply by body language that is likely taken way out of sequence…typical Bravo.

    I also thought the whole sexual inuendo of NP’s friends was a little classless, but apparently right up that Padma’s alley. I mean really, would anyone miss that waste of skin if Tom and Gail hosted? I didn’t think so.

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