Veronica Mars Desperate for a Man

According to Fatback and Collards, it seems that Kristen Bell doesn’t share Veronica Mars’ boy issues. While stalking Jason Dohring on set, I came across Kristen Bell’s diary. I took a sneak peek before I took it to the nearest copy machine so I could share it with you all.

Dear Diary,
While Veronica has the attention of her boyfriend (Duncan); the love of her life (Logan); bad boy (Weevil); and possibly her best friend (Wallace); I can’t seem to find time for a boy toy in my real life. Ain’t that a bitch…I have millions of men drooling over me every week, but b/c of the demands of the show, I can’t seem to find some lovin’. Now in a situation such as this, I have to ask “What Would Veronica Do?”. Veronica would never let herself go unsatisfied, she would definitely consider all her options. What about satisfying my cravings for the opposite sex with a little “office romance”. I mean, I do have a few possibilities:

He may be the acting equivalent of a dead fish, but Teddy Dunn (Duncan) isn’t that bad looking. He went to one of those rich boy, preppy schools outside of Boston, so he might actually be able to hold his own in a conversation. And just think…I could get paid to make out with him. That’s not a bad gig!

Maybe I should be looking for a little more gansta and a little less prep. What about Francis Capra (Weevil)? Maybe he will even wear his bad ass PCH leather biker jacket in bed. I do like leather. Weevil isn’t on the show much this season, so he might not be as convenient. Nevertheless, not to be discounted.

I have been known to crave a little jungle fever…maybe I should add Percy (Wallace) to my list of potentials. The boy may look 15, but he is legal and lookin’ for some love. I’ve seen him steal a few glances at the ass when the director calls CUT. And how can I turn away a man that can croon like Percy. Consider this one…

Although somewhat sick and twisted, I must remember that although he plays my Daddy on TV, Enrico ain’t not such thang. Anyone who has seen an ep of Veronica Mars has picked up on the “tension” between me and good ‘ol Pops. I can’t deny it’s there….why do you think I protest the “Who’s Your Daddy” line so often? I don’t want him to think of me as just his daughter…ewww. Plus, I’ve always had a thing for hot bald guys.

And finally there is Jason Dohring. For some inexplicable reason, this fool went off and got himself a wife. Those damn Scientologists…why do they have to marry so young?! Now, since he married her before Veronica Mars and I became a hit, well let’s just say I wouldn’t close the book on this boy yet. Mad chemistry on-screen can lead to some hot lovin’ behind the cameras.

Oh diary, what should I do? I need some love and affection, but I can’t let an on-set romance turn ugly…before you know it, Logan will be in a closed casket and only showing up in my dream sequences…(or so I’ve heard).

Love,
Kristen

Prison Break on Hiatus? WTF???

Enjoy Prison Break while it lasts people. My new favorite show is finishing up the first of its 13 episodes on November 28th, and then…get this….it doesn’t come back until May?! WTF? So much for my earlier post with praised Fox Mondays. Damn you!!! Fox is f-ing with my schedule because Kiefer and the kids are ready to return to CTU. SPOILER ALERT - Kiefer and his merry men are going to save the world in 24 hours!!

There is a little good news. Fox is going to air all 22 eps, so it seems that we will see Michael and the boys over the summer too. But I almost don’t care. I hate this trend of mid-season hiatus. It’s happening WAY to much. ABC just announced that Alias is being replaced for 8 weeks with Dancing with the Stars. The SpyFamily will be back after the birth of Garfleck, but I don’t want to wait that long (and yes, I’m stamping my feet and pouting). Last year I had to wait months to see Ephram’s reaction to his baby-mama drama on Everwood. And although I care much, much less, One Tree Hill took a similar break last year.

A word to the networks…You better we don’t pull a Ross & Rachel on you and find something better while we are on a “break”.

(Source)

Watch these Shows Fools (or at least Veronica Mars)

USA Today tells us what four shows are worthwhile. I’m on board with 3 out of the 4. I’ve heard great things about House, but I can’t get into it. I have WAY too many other TV commitments. But any article that touts the genius that is Veronica Mars is always good to pass along. Check out the article here.

Happy Halloween from the Crazy Kids at NBC

Holy gastric bypass Robin! How glad is Al Roker (and the people at Rockfeller Center) that he had the surgery last year?! Without it this could have been a disaster of a Halloween. But alas, Batman (Matt Laurer) and his Robin (Al Roker) saved the world once again!! Now if they could only find a way to save us all from Ann Curry….

Although I have always hated dressing up for Halloween, I do appreciate the efforts that others go through for the day. And Katie, Matt, and Al never disappoint. Nor do Regis & Kelly (but I can’t find their pics online yet).

Katie (Marilyn Monroe) - 2005
Katie (The Donald), Al (Oprah), Matt (Paris - CLASSIC), and Ann (Annoying, overdramativ TV reporter…er, Tina Turner) - 2004

If you come across any OUTSTANDING costumes, send them in. I’ll be happy to humilate you or your friends on my site.

Will & Vaughn - For Your Viewing Pleasure

The following post contains spoilers for Fox’s “Kitchen Confidential” - read at your own risk.

Praise Jesus! Fox has released promotional pics from Michael Vartan’s upcoming appearance on Kitchen Confidential. For me, the next best thing to a 3-way with Bradley Cooper & Michael Vartan, is seeing those two men reunited on the small screen. I wish I had better appreciated the Vaughn-Will scenes during the first few seasons of Alias. Thank goodness I can pop in the DVDs whenever I want…oh wait, someone borrowed them months ago, right! (kidding, I’m not in any rush to get them back)

Although I personally like my Vartan with a little less scruff, I’ll take him wherever I can get him. Enjoy the pics. And don’t forget to watch Michael Vartan on Kitchen Confidential on Fox, November 14th.

©2005 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Will & Vaughn - For Your Viewing Pleasure

The following post contains spoilers for Fox’s “Kitchen Confidential” - read at your own risk.

Praise Jesus! Fox has released promotional pics from Michael Vartan’s upcoming appearance on Kitchen Confidential. For me, the next best thing to a 3-way with Bradley Cooper & Michael Vartan, is seeing those two men reunited on the small screen. I wish I had better appreciated the Vaughn-Will scenes during the first few seasons of Alias. Thank goodness I can pop in the DVDs whenever I want…oh wait, someone borrowed them months ago, right! (kidding, I’m not in any rush to get them back)

Although I personally like my Vartan with a little less scruff, I’ll take him wherever I can get him. Enjoy the pics. And don’t forget to watch Michael Vartan on Kitchen Confidential on Fox, November 14th.

©2005 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Why Monday’s Don’t Suck (as much)

Until fairly recently, I personally couldn’t find one redeeming thing about Mondays. Having to get up early after a rough weekend, knowing that I had 5 whole days of work ahead. No thanks. But oh, how things have changed. See, being obsessed with TV means that a night’s line-up can have an affect on my day. Sad & pathetic? Maybe, but do I care? Not a bit.

Thanks to Fox, Monday’s are something I look forward to. With Arrested Development, Kitchen Confidential, and Prison Break, I can settle in for a few hours of TV that doesn’t even require me to pick up the remote.

After years of begging by Kristin Vietch, I finally tuned into Arrested Development. And I am damn glad that I did. That show is freakin’ hysterical. I have no idea what kind of crack AD’s writers are smoking, but I hope they keep smuggling that shit in b/c it’s well worth the risk. C’mon, any show with a Volvo/vulva joke in the first 10 minutes is quality!!!

Although not nearly as funny as Arrested Development, I’ve really come to like Kitchen Confidential. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting to. I really only tuned into the first ep for health reasons. See, I sit in front of a computer all day, and my poor eyes are paying the price. I figured I could sooth and treat my overworked retinas by letting them focus on Bradley Cooper for a half hour a week. But to my utter surprise, I actually like Kitchen Confidential. It’s something just different enough that it doesn’t get lost among some of the other cookie cutter sitcoms. Oh, did I mention that Alias alum(?) Michael Vartan will be guest starring on an upcoming ep? Yup, Bradley and Michael…Will Tippen and Michael Vaughn…back together. You’ll understand if I want to watch that ep all alone, right?

And the show de resistance of Fox’s Monday night line-up? Prison Break. This is one of my few (ha!) not miss shows. Much like Alias, Prison Break is much more palpable when you look past the absurdity and get caught up in the suspense. For me, it has the same twist and turns that makes (or made) Alias so damn good. (Yes, I’m putting Prison Break in the same category as Alias, and as FS can attest to - that’s a big deal!). I know, I know you think my opinion is soley based on how f-ing gorgeous Wentworth Miller is, but I can assure you it’s not. He is dreamy, and the way he penetrates the camera with his eyes…damn! but, the show is “worthy” of your viewing, even without Went-worthy Miller.

So Thank You Fox for making Monday’s a little more bearable. And on behalf of women and gay men everywhere…thanks for Wentworth.

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